


Expectations

by BurntGayPotato



Series: Requests!! [10]
Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Asexual Character, Coming Out, Composed Character Crying, Gay Simon Snow, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mild Angst, One Shot, Short, Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch Is Bad at Feelings, Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch Is Gay for Simon Snow, asexual baz
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-29
Updated: 2020-05-29
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:47:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,136
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24440818
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BurntGayPotato/pseuds/BurntGayPotato
Summary: A Snowbaz hurt/comfort fic with asexual Baz who's stressing about how Simon won't want him anymore after he finds out he's ace.
Relationships: Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch/Simon Snow
Series: Requests!! [10]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1633117
Comments: 6
Kudos: 77





	Expectations

**Author's Note:**

  * For [TheHerondalesAreBicons](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheHerondalesAreBicons/gifts).



> Man, it’s been a hot second so I hope I got this characterization okay (especially since I just finished wayward son!)

Baz had grown up with the highest of expectations. Be the top in class, be the top in football, don't be a vampire, don't be queer, et cetera. The expectations in his life had always ranged from incredibly high to impossible. Ever since he had finished uni and got a flat with Simon, he had been able to breathe a bit more freely. He was finally away from his family’s expectations of him. He had gotten a job at Harvey Nichols for the time being, and Snow had started work a few weeks ago at A McDonald’s. No matter how much Baz complained that McDonald’s was not a clean place to be, not to mention a good place to work if you want good treatment, he couldn't help but be proud of him for actually finding a job. It had been hard for him, but he’d finally done it.

Even though he was living in a cozy flat with the love of his life, he still couldn't help but feel like he wasn't meeting some sort of expectation. Like who he was, what he wanted to do - and what he didn't want to do - was disappointing someone. That there was something wrong with him for not being able to do something - to want to do something.

Baz was asexual.

He looked up the term late in his fourth year, and it had made him feel relieved and miserable at the same time.

He was so relieved to know that he wasn't the only one - that he was not broken for not wanting to have sex.

Yet he was miserable at the same time. Because he knew that even if Simon Snow was attracted to guys, there was no way he’d date him. He had no interest in sex at all. There was almost no chance that Snow was asexual too.

It turned out that Simon was attracted to boys (or at the very least, he was attracted to Baz). He and Simon were finally able to just exist without too much trouble. They could hold hands as long as they wanted to in their flat without anyone staring - or glaring. Whenever Snow did something stupid, Baz could laugh at him and kiss the tip of his nose. Not to mention they’d finally found a way to get rid of Simon’s wings until the spell was spoken again.

But lately every time their kissing got more… intense… Baz couldn't help but think about how he was letting Simon down. They hadn't really ever talked about taking things further before, and Baz dreaded the day that it came before he was ready.

So he decided that he’d bring it up today when Simon got home. He wasn't really ready, but he also was sure that things would go worse for him if he wasn't the one to bring up the topic.

He brewed himself some tea and sat down on the sofa to wait for his boyfriend to return home. He had practiced what he was going to say at least a hundred times by now.

 _Simon, I know we’ve never really talked about sex before, and this is_ _probably really sudden, but I have something to tell you. I’m asexual. I’m_ _sorry, and I understand if you want to see other people now. I just felt_ _like I needed to tell you._

Quick and simple, just spit it out and be done with it. Less painful that way.

Baz was so caught up in his head that he jumped when the door slammed shut. He quickly set down his teacup and went to greet Simon. He hugged him tightly, scared that this would be the last time that he was able to.

“You alright Baz? You seem a bit tense.” Simon asked when they broke apart. He kicked off his shoes and ran his fingers through the mess of honey blond curls on top of his head. Baz took a deep breath.

“Yeah, I’ve just got something I need to tell you.” he said, trying to sound like his normal composed self. Simon’s eyebrow twitched upward, but he nodded and kissed Baz’s cheek lightly.

“Alright, you wanna sit down or something? I’m a bit tired.” The two went to sit on the sofa together, and Baz clasped his hands together in his lap to keep them from shaking.

“I, uh,” Baz muttered, trying to remember what he’d planned on saying. “So this is probably pretty out of the blue and random but I, um…” Simon looked concerned.

“Hey, it’s alright,” the blond whispered, “You can tell me anything. Have the nightmares been coming back?” Baz shook his head.

“No, it's - it’s not that,” he stammered. “It’s just that I - I don't really - you see I know we never really talked about this much but I -” the pale man tried to hold back the tears that were beginning to form in his eyes. Why was he crying? Snow hadn't even dumped him yet! He’d barely even said a thing! Why was this so hard? Now he was just worrying Simon, and disappointing him further.

“I- I’m sorry,” Baz choked. Simon reached around to rub Baz’s back.

“It's okay, take your time, there's nothing to be sorry about love.” The pet name broke the dam, and Baz started to cry softly, trying in vain to hide it. Simon quickly pulled him into his lap, and wrapped him in a tight embrace.

“It's okay Baz, you’re okay,” Simon told him soothingly. Baz just cried harder, burying his face in the crook of Simon’s neck, holding him like the world was ending.

“Simon, I-I’m asexual!” he sobbed. “I’m sorry, I just- I understand if you wanna leave,” Simon inhaled sharply.

“Tyrannus Basilton Pitch, don't you say that! I would never leave just because you don't want to have sex. I love _you_ , Basil, and you being asexual is just another part of you that I get to love!” the blond said, holding his shaking boyfriend closer.

“What-? I mean- I knew that,” Baz muttered, causing Simon to laugh loudly.

“Of course you did, how silly of me.” the blond teased, brushing away the stray tears that were still creeping down Baz’s face, and kissing the top of his head.

“Er, thanks anyways, Snow. If I hadn’t already knew that, that would've been just what I needed to hear.” the paler admitted. Simon smiled, and squeezed Baz’s hands in his own.

“Anytime,” he murmured. “Now, what do you think about shepherd's pie for dinner? I’m famished.” Baz sighed.

“Snow, it’s only 4:30,”

“Yeah, but I’ve been working around food all day!”

There would always be at least one expectation for Baz to meet. And that was to be able to cook on command because Crowley knows Simon Snow was always hungry.

**Author's Note:**

> They have McDonalds in the UK right-


End file.
